A simple guide to being a non-judgemental person.

Photo by Will Porada on Unsplash

I’m tired of all the preachy, high-horse articles telling people to stop doing things. “Stop ignoring calories,” “Stop counting calories,” “Stop dieting,” “Stop not dieting,” “Stop not-not dieting.” It’s confusing and judgmental. To be a better person, stop doing these annoying things.

When you have the impulse to tell someone to stop, stop. I would never, ever, in a million years, tell someone to stop doing something they were doing.

Keep your mouth closed and put your energy toward your own problems for a change. If you put half as much energy into telling other people to stop doing things…


Humor

Chekhov’s gun theory is a bunch of baloney.

I’m the famous playwright Anton Chekhov. You may know me for my most famous principle, Checkov’s gun. The principle states that every element in a story must be necessary and relevant. If a loaded gun is placed on the stage, it must go off. I am here to set the record straight, that interpretation of my work is bull.

I’m going to put this gun right on the table here, leave it, and when it doesn’t go off, you will see my point is proven. See. Nothing. Just because a gun is out and visible to the world doesn’t mean…


HUMOR

Take this quiz to find out how deep you’re in the quicksand.

Photo by Nicolas Cool on Unsplash
  1. You’re alone with no friends around to save you.
  2. Your life has been changed for the worse.
  3. You are dependent on Pyramids for survival.
  4. The only liquid around is something you definitely don’t want to drink.
  5. You are in an extremely dangerous place for humans.
  6. You feel like you are in hell.
  7. You’re in quicksand.
  8. You are surrounded by bottom feeders such as snakes, rats, vultures, and your upline.
  9. You’re in something that is on almost every continent.
  10. You’re in or near the epicenter of a religious cult.
  11. You keep falling for luxurious mirages of pools filled with gold bullion.


Humor

Skimpy shirts only, or you can’t sit with us!

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Hey Boo!

It’s your girl, a famous Fabletics woman’s top. Sometimes I’m an adorable sporty tank top. Sometimes I’m a sassy midriff. Sometimes I’m nothing more than a sexy sports bra. And if you grew up with body issues, I’m ALWAYS showing more skin then you’re comfortable with.

I’m here to torture you with pics of how cute I look paired with the matching leggings. Even though you love me and will never find another top to match the colorful booty boosting bottoms, you can’t buy me. …


HUMOR

All is not calm, and all is definitely not right.

“Look at those cold, dead eyes.” Photo by Misty Ladd on Unsplash

DAY 1

A strange and grizzled man tries to break into your house through your chimney.

DAY 2

Reindeer inexplicably wind up on the roof of your two-story house.

DAY 3

One of those reindeer is exhibiting signs of severe rabies via a neon-red nose that lights up the night sky like an emergency flare.

DAY 4

A creepy elf doll moves around your house in new, unexpected places on its own accord — staring at you with those wide, cold-dead eyes.

DAY 5

You come downstairs in the morning to find that the grizzled stranger managed to: break into…


HUMOR

Housecleaning alligators, puns galore, and other news that barely makes the grade.

photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Hell yeah, it’s ya girl, Bailey Passing. Still here dropping the baller AF tea, hoping to get extra creds so I can finally pass civics. YEET!

A deputy in Florida uses a broom to return an alligator to a pond. Male alligators are just like husbands; they are both afraid of housework. Hashtag quaking!

South Africa announced Sunday that it plans to end its multimillion-dollar captive lion industry. I’m glad they could put their PRIDE aside and do what’s right. So swerve dot com!

Also, it will no longer oppose the international ban on the rhinoceros horn and elephant ivory…


HUMOR

Guiliani pest control, insensitive remarks about potatoes, and other news that barely makes the grade.

photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

It’s ya girl, Bailey Passing. Back again, spilling the hot AF tea on the latest news to get a passing grade in Civics. IMHO, It’s major sus to fail me for doing the same thing in class that real Congressmen do on the job! Cringy AF!


HUMOR

BTS happy meal, Rabid bob cat shot put, other news that barely makes the grade.

photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

What up, fam! I’m glowing up this week by having a dope AF AMA in the comments. HMU because your girl is always HTH. But first, I’m spilling the tea. This week it’s so hot it’s on fire. Yeet!

McDonald’s says it will sell a BTS meal inspired by the famous Korean Boy Band. Ten Thousand screaming teenagers not included. Hashtag Yikesiez!

Elephants trample suspected poachers in South Africa suspected of hunting Rhinos. Elephants should be on the police force; they prevented more shootings this year than humans. High-key burn dot com.

A man hurls a rabid bobcat attacking his…


HUMOR

Deadly croissants, cat food cookbook for people, and other news that barely makes the grade.

photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Hey fam, it’s ya girl, Bailey Passing. It’s time again for uber hot takes and spilling the tea to glam up my civic grades. But as one iconic workaholic nerd to another, don’t forget to take the time to chill—vibe check. Work hard, play hard. No cap. Yeet!

Cal matters report Moms have paid a higher price during the pandemic- and throughout all of the time, always in any situation since forever. Hashtag facts.

Apparently, there have been some roadblocks to making a vaccine passport. The biggest roadblock being it’s not actually a passport. Passport? More like Shamport.

Mystery animal…


HUMOR

Emotional Support Beer, roommate Jesus, and other news that barely makes the grade.

photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Hey, fam! It’s your dope AF girl, Bailey here. The rents have been all up in my grill about my civics grade, as yoush. So I spilled the tea on my high key news for extra creds. They don’t seem to be as supes stoked that this will give me the extra creds. But I’m not sweating from them throwing shade. I can feel Mr. S. wearing down from all the printouts I’ve been leaving in his inbox, desk, car, gym bag, briefcase, house mailbox, tool shed, basement, and folded into swans I leave on his pillow. I’m legit the…

Susan Sassi

Competition placing TV writer, comedian, & professional Cathy impersonator living in LA. www.susansassi.com

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